Hi!
I'm Becki and I'm one of the Inner Sage coaching practitioners.
I'm 34 and I have a 15-year-old daughter. I graduated with my Undergraduate Honours Degree in Forensic Psychology in 2022. I have studied multiple other diplomas in Counselling and I'm currently undertaking a Masters Degree in Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice.
Last year, I filed for divorce from my narcissistic husband after a 10-year relationship. I went through a very traumatic couple of years before I finally walked away, dealing with infidelity and betrayal trauma, gaslighting, lies, emotional and mental abuse and completely losing my sense of reality and self. I came out of the relationship extremely traumatised and feeling like I would never survive on my own.
A year on, I have managed to rebuild my life from scratch. I have learnt a lot about myself and more importantly, I've learnt what it is I deserve and how I can achieve it. It took a lot of inner work which wasn't easy. It was very hard at times and there were plenty of days when I didn't think I would ever see the other side of my trauma. However, a year on, I am at total peace with my decision to leave and also with who I am as a person. I no longer have to walk on eggshells, endure sleepless night after sleepless night, be unable to eat through anxiety and stress and be constantly made to feel like I am "crazy" and "paranoid" when the truth was I was right about all of my suspicions.
I recognised on my healing journey that I had allowed myself to have my boundaries crossed and accepted what I perceived as love when it was in fact, manipulation and control by someone who had no empathy, compassion, remorse or shame for the way they had treated me throughout our relationship. Realising I didn't have to live like that, as scary as it was to leave, was the best realisation I've ever come to. It freed me from the tight grip of abuse that so many of us feel like we have to put up with because we've been brainwashed by toxic partners to believe it's what we deserve.
During my healing journey, I also realised a very important part of myself that I had been neglecting during all of my previous relationships; that I am a gay woman and had been masking my sexuality for my entire life in a bid to "fit in".
Leaving an abusive relationship with any kind of abuser, narcissist or not, feels impossible in the moment. We gaslight ourselves into believing things will get better but they never do. We believe we can't survive without our partner and being alone would be the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen to you. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you're being mistreated and even more courage to do something about it.
As someone who has been in this exact position and come out the other side an even better version of myself than I ever thought I could be, I'm here to help others using the academic and personal experiences I've had. I often wish I had had more support from women who had been, or were currently going through what I was when I was at the beginning of my healing journey and that's what I hope to bring to others.
I have a huge passion for being a support system for women who are struggling, for helping them find the strength to leave toxic situations and learn how to elevate their lives to the fullest to become the best version of themselves. Doing this healing in a healthy way, learning how to let go of trauma bonds, how to set and maintain boundaries and to learn acceptance, will make sure you have the right coping skills for whatever life throws at you in the future and to avoid ending up in any more toxic situations.
If you feel you are at a point where you would like help either with leaving a relationship, healing from a previous relationship and how to heal in a way that brings you peace and comfort within yourself, book a free consultation with me today. Together, we could build you up and make you the confident and independent woman you know you can be. I'm living proof that it is more than possible!
Becki 🩷
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